530am with 5 days to go

is when it actually hits me.   I had fallen asleep fine last night around 330a like usual with Batty on the other end of our Skype call.  She had hung up and I was passed out.  But it was a cold night and I woke up about 2 hours later freezing my butt off.  So I lay there for a moment, dazed, slightly confused, and hurt.  I couldn't figure out why I felt hurt, but I trudged out from under my covers, grabbed a smaller blanket to wrap around myself and fumbled through the dark to the thermostat.   I stood staring at the the device waiting for it to kick in and I began to feel hopeless. Slowly, as I shivered uncontrollably, I heard the air rushing through the apartment vents.  I stumbled back, slightly relieved, to my bed.  I layered my covers with two more blankets before I crawled back under them and tried to get comfortable.  But I was too cold, painfully so, and somewhere within me something broke.  I sobbed.  Uncontrollably at that and I thrashed in my bed, trying to find some sort of comfort.  But I couldn't find any and I longed for my Batty.  I couldn't stand being alone in this cold apartment any longer.  I curled into a ball and cried, just letting it all wash over me.  I realized who all I was going to leave behind and that too threw me into another whirlwind of emotions.  Slowly I wiped my tears away and stared out into my room.  The sun was peaking up over the horizon and sent a dim yellow glow about the room.  I sighed knowing that I would have to wake up only a few hours later to go to work.  So I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.  Luckily I eventually fell asleep again and was finally wrapped in warmth.